Rise Above You - Dr Candice Goh

This book was short and sweet. If you enjoy reading straightforward books, amalgamated with tips on how to live better, this is the book for you. 

Content: The book was structured into the 7 alphabets (chapters) from A to G, each letter representing an acronym. For example, C was care for your body, which emphasised on the importance of your health. These 7 tips were easy to follow and had short stories to accompany them, to help you remember the tips better. At the end of each chapter, there are also call-to-action guides and a space to write our thoughts and action plans. I highly recommend penning your thoughts to crystallise your ideas and move forward.

Estimated reading time needed: 1h

Key takeaways: 

1) Care for your body/health. This is something I hold close to myself. My belief is that without health, nothing else matters - I can't spend time with my loved ones, can't spend the money I've made, can't live out my best life and travel the world. 

2) We need to have direction in life. It's okay if we don't really know where yet, but we must start moving somewhere. We cannot be stagnant and stay where we were before, which also leads to the habit of continuous growth. I think this is a general guide, and we should not move in the opposite direction. For example, if we want to work in the science field, we should be taking some science and math courses. Even if we didn't know where to go, we can develop other transferrable skills.

3) The only person we should compare to is who we were yesterday. We live in a time when people spend hours on social media each day, and where social media is a platform to depict our best selves. Social media leads to comparison of the lives others lead and ours, which is unhealthy. When we use ourselves as a gauge, life becomes much more straightforward because you constantly know your own baseline. This, I think, can perpetuate into a growth mindset like in point 2.

4) Friends and loved ones are important, be there for them.

Recommendation: I truly believe in each and every one of these tips. Dr Goh wrapped up several of life's most important aspects in a short book (in my opinion), which serves as a quick reminder of what I should be doing to live a better life. Although it doesn't cover every corner of each pillar of our lives, like how everyone has their own timelines, I highly recommend this book to everyone. It's short, sweet, and full of nuggets. 

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen Covey

A book that went from great to good. If you're looking for a book that encompasses all that you need to be effective, this is it. Covey broke down 7 habits that are easy to follow, from the private to the public, the independent to the dependent to the interdependent.

Content: The book is split into 7 segments - one for each habit. The first few habits on private victories are really insightful and relatable. However, from the fourth habit onwards, it felt repetitive and full of anecdotal experiences rather than actual persuasive arguments. One thing to note, is that at the end of each chapter, Covey provides several key action items for readers to reflect and act upon what we can do better, and this implementation is helpful in absorbing the info.

Estimated reading time needed: ~15h

Key takeaways: 

1) The first step to influence is to first be willing to be influenced. To be able to understand others deeply, we should be willing to be vulnerable (to a certain extent of course, depending on the situation) and open up to others.

2) If we want to change the situation, we have to first change ourselves. This reminds me of "the 3 choices we can make in any situation" my friend told me about - accept and stay, change what you're doing, or leave. This links to the first habit which I hold close, being proactive. Start to think what you can do in any situation, instead of "if only this happened..".

3) Character, ethics and values are core to our lives. By living through these, we stay true to who we want to be. As Covey said, primary greatness is character, and secondary greatness is recognised talent. "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us" - Oliver Holmes

4) Borrowing strength builds weaknesses in the borrower. When we encounter a problem, asking others for help could cause us to over-rely on others in the future, and stunt our growth of reasoning and discipline. But of course, ask for help when necessary!

5) Remember the concept of the production/production capability balance - output is good, but take care of the production capability to ensure sustained output.

6) Between stimulus and response, we have the power to choose. We have to be emotionally intelligent, separate our emotions from our actions, and refrain from reacting rashly.

Recommendation: Really, just read the first half of the book if you're introspective or would like to be introspective. The first half is inside-out, and second half is outside-in. However, I wouldn't recommend reading the second half because of reasons mentioned above. In general, reflecting on what our core values are is extremely crucial in maintaining our integrity to who we want to be, and the action steps provided help greatly. Would not recommend reading it in too much detail.

Think and Grow Rich - Napoleon Hill

If you want to grow rich and have someone nagging at you that you have to stop breathing, eating, and sleeping just to cater 24/7 to getting rich, this is the book for you. 

Content: The entire book is based on the notion that if you want it, you can have it. That you just need to dream it. In the early chapters of the book, Hill mentioned how if you're ready you'll know what to do as you read through the book. It's probably the case if you already have an idea of how to get rich and you just need some form of external motivation pushing you on.

Estimated reading time needed: ~20h

Key takeaways: 

1) You need to believe and envision the life before you can lead the life.

2) Getting rich requires determination and discipline. Lots of them. You need to be obsessed with getting wealthy, and make the required sacrifices.

Recommendation: There really aren't many takeaways as I only read the first hundred or so pages. The reviews were great, but I didn't see the need for an author to write about "believing in yourself", "have faith", "you can achieve anything you dream of as long as you work for it". These may be helpful if you're stuck or lost in life, but such fluffiness is something I didn't expect in such a highly acclaimed book. Furthermore, as many other reviewers have pointed out, Hill said he didn't allow his deaf son to learn the sign language because he "believed he could live like a normal human", which implies that deaf people cannot live "normally", or that sign language isn't "normal". Crass and crude. I definitely do not recommend wasting your time with this book unless you need to hammer in those thoughts into your head. 

The Defining Decade - Meg Jay

The Defining Decade talks about how the 20s are the most important period of our lives - the period where the crux of life happens, from college to graduation to starting your career to marriage and children. It is easy to think that we still have lots of time when we're in our 20s. We think that it's supposed to be a time for exploration and adventure, enjoying life to the fullest. However, Jay put things into perspective in this book.

Content: The Defining Decade consists of short stories from various clients of hers, each with a persuasive, logical message backed by experience from her profession as a clinical psychologist, research and other scientific studies. 

Estimated reading time needed: 3h

Key takeaways: 

1) About 80% of life's most significant events take place by age 35. Although I disagree with slapping a generic timeline onto every individual, it is still pertinent for us to consider the kind of life we want to lead, and consider the time we have left.

2) "No one told me it would be this hard". Growing up is extremely tough - financially, mentally, physically, emotionally. But you're not alone on this journey.

3) We all carry certain amounts of identity capital, the currency that defines us, how we build ourselves, what we bring to the adult marketplace. How are you building your identity capital?

4) "Saying yes means you will do something new, meet someone new, and make a difference" - Eric Schmidt, Executive Chairman of Google. 

5) When we make choices, we open ourselves up to hard work and failure and heartbreak, so sometimes it feels easier not to know, not to choose, and not to do.  But it isn't. This reminds me of several quotes I resonate with - We must go through difficult times to become stronger people. Rainy days make for the best stories. Be intimate with fear, for it means you are growing. 

6) Tyranny of the should - shoulds set up a false dichotomy between either meeting an ideal or being a failure, between perfection or settling. Let us not define ourselves by shoulds, but by goals. Be driven internally than externally.

7) You are deciding your life right now. The choices you make will likely either have a great impact or snowball into something impactful down the road.

Recommendation: As a 20s-person, this book is a godsend. The transition into an adult is perhaps the most complex period I've ever encountered, and I believe most can resonate with me. There are so many things to be wary of, focus on, making decisions, while regulating our stress levels.. the list goes on. This book perhaps summarises the bulk of the information young adults need to know in their transition into an adult. To face the 'real world'. A short book full of important messages, I highly recommend it!

The Last Lecture - Randy Pausch

A book that was born out an interesting concept, "The Last Lecture" is a lecture where professors reflect on their deaths and think about what matters most to them. As Pausch wrote, "what wisdom would we impart fo the world if we knew it was our last chance?". 

Content: The book consists of 61 chapters where Pausch shares different important moments in his life that he is grateful for. Some key experiences include his time as a Disney Imagineer, teaching as a professor, and his role in his family. It was easy to follow throughout, the people and experiences that were important to him were consistently mentioned, but it was difficult to grasp the key learning point sometimes. 

Estimated reading time needed: 3h

Key takeaways: 

1) Self-esteem is not given, it's built. We need to give children things that they can't do, so that when they are actually able to do it, it builds on their self-esteem. We must be wary of 'protecting' children from such exploration and growth.

2) Sports is not just about having fun. It's also about teamwork, perseverance, sportsmanship and more. This concept may be elusive to some parents who think students should simply study hard (especially in Asia), and sports is just a type of game where children waste their time having fun.

3) It's not crucial for everyone to observe how hard you work. This reminds me of how people say we should work hard in silence and succeed in silence. The more we say it out, there will be people who try to bring us down, whether purposely or not. 

4) We will always hit a brick wall in life. Pausch writes that "brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough". I think that sometimes those brick walls are truly unscalable, so we have to continuously improve ourselves before we try to climb over the wall again.

5) Not everything needs to be fixed.

6) Time is finite. It must be managed, planned, spent on the right things that are important to us. One day, we might find that we have less than we think.

7) When penguins are about to jump into the water that may have predators, which penguin jumps first? "Someone's got to be the first penguin".

8) "It's not about how to achieve your dreams. It's about how to lead your life". Many people talk about having dreams - and dreams are important. But first and foremost, we must lead our lives the right way, and things will fall into place.

Recommendation: Overall, it was an interesting book with some nuggets of wisdom. One thing I do not appreciate is that sometimes there was no 'so what' to the story written, so it was sometimes difficult to understand what Pausch was trying to teach us. The hook about this book is that Pausch was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer before giving this lecture, which didn't stop him from wanting to depart key takeaways. In fact, it made him want to give this lecture even more so. For a couple of hours, this book may be worth reading if you enjoy reading books with interesting concepts, and are keen to take away some nuggets of life. 

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck - Mark Manson

An introspective book! The 'psychological epidemic' talks about how people are hung up over everything, including the little ones that don't really matter. I'm not a perfectionist, but sometimes I, too, struggle to understand what to prioritise, simply because I didn't think about what truly matters. Perhaps, in today's society, we easily see news articles and posts of success stories and so we tend to compare ourselves to others. Manson calls this "The Tyranny of Exceptionalism". Further, we are living in a society where we are perhaps too afraid of hurting others, which paint a false picture of reality, that it's normal to not get hurt. But it is.

Content: Manson split the key takeaways into different chapters to make it easier for readers to follow and digest. Some things he wrote about include constantly having to make decisions in life, and that people need to be less afraid of failing and just go for it, because failure is also part of the process. Otherwise, we'll just be stuck and not moving, which is probably worse than failing.

Estimated reading time needed: 3h

Key takeaways: 

1) Conventional life advice fixates on our shortcomings, what we lack, which reinforces our ideas that we're just not good enough. Manson gave the example 'no truly happy person feels the need to stand in front of a mirror and recite that she's happy. She just is'. 

2) "The key to a good life is giving a fuck about less, about only what is true and immediate and important". What is it that truly matters? For example, receiving a wrong order at dinner or spending time with the people around you? Choose your worries and problems, not fixate on all of them.

3) "The backwards law" as told by philosopher Alan Watts says that the more we want positives, the worse we will feel, whereas if we accept the negatives, we feel more positive. 

4) "To not give a fuck is to stare down at life's most terrifying and difficult challenges and still take action". The same can be said for not caring about pissing people off to do what you feel is right.

5) If too many trivial things bother you, you probably don't have more important things going on in your life.

6) Everybody wants good things in life, but many are not willing to suffer for it. Manson then asks an intriguing question: "What pain do you want in your life? What are you willing to struggle for?" The key lies in the process - learn to enjoy it.

7) Choose the right metric to base your life on, by understanding what really matters to you. If you want to change how you see your problems, change your values or metrics.

Recommendation: I really liked the storyline. Manson started off by saying we have to be honest with ourselves, dig deep to understand and find out what we want, and then cater our limited energy and time for them. I would have liked it better if he dove a bit deeper into the 'psychological epidemic' we face today, to expand more about the context of this book. But that's not the point of this book so that's okay. Overall, this book does provide fair, logical points that I think many people would probably need to hear (like being honest with ourselves), even if they don't like it. Manson says to think about this book as a 'guide to suffering and how to do it better, more meaningfully, with more compassion and more humility'. Good book to read in a short few hours!

Twenty-One Years Young: Essays by Amy Dong

Since I was young, I've never truly understood the essence of stories. Recently, I've gained an appreciation for stories and personal essay writing. "The hallmark of the personal essay is its intimacy - its ability to embrace and question all that makes us who and why we are without ever professing to find the answer" - Amy's takeaway from essayist Phillip Lopate. After reading Amy's book, I understand why.

Content: This book is really just a compilation of different essays that Amy wrote based on her own life experiences, from her reflections on going to NYU instead of Harvard, to getting robbed multiple times while travelling. It is truly incredible how Amy managed to invoke images and emotions through the words on the pages, by allowing glimpses of her thoughts and reflections as she grew up. Short essays, big impact and really fantastic learnings for everybody!

Estimated reading time needed: 3h

Key takeaways: 

1) With books, there are no forced conversations, expectations or unwanted transactions - you could take whatever you choose away from it. Personally, books are an escape from reality, because it takes me into another realm, into someone else's thoughts, through which I can learn and grow to become a better person. What do you do with books?

2) "Perfect days make for terrible stories, and vice versa". 

3) "What kind of dream forces you to leave behind your own family?" This reminds me of the book "Put your dream to the test" that I read a few months ago, written by John Maxwell. Maxwell stated that dreams come with sacrifices, but the one thing he kept emphasising on was the importance of his family. Not all family is perfect, however, but perhaps everyone has something/someone important to them.

4) "College has taught me that saying no is harder than saying yes, that books teach more than classes do, that travelling reminds me I am less important than I think I am". What does education mean to you? Is it about classroom learning, or something else like exploration and finding what you enjoy doing, creating the person you want to be?

5) There's a quote I saw somewhere, saying "if you want to understand yourself, write". Amy did this exceptionally well, and wrote about herself as she grew up, keeping a recollection of the person she was. Sometimes we are so focused on the people we want to be that we forget the people we used to be, and writing helps keep our past selves alive.

6) Today will always be the youngest day in the rest of your life. What would you do with it?

7) Do not be so focused on chasing what you want, that you lose what's truly important to you. 

8) "The most unexpected and difficult moments in life are the ones that shape it".

Recommendation: Needless to say, Amy's book was transformational, and it truly embedded the value of stories. What's even more impressive is the ability to convey the stories to others in a way that invokes feelings like happiness, guilt, love, and inspiration in others. Although I've been writing book reviews, I've been wanting to start writing stories of my own, and this book was what I needed. Interesting stories chuck full of learnings, I highly highly recommend anyone to read it! Amy wrote this when she was 21 a year ago, I'm extremely excited to see what other stories she will publish during her defining 20s.