The Defining Decade talks about how the 20s are the most important period of our lives - the period where the crux of life happens, from college to graduation to starting your career to marriage and children. It is easy to think that we still have lots of time when we're in our 20s. We think that it's supposed to be a time for exploration and adventure, enjoying life to the fullest. However, Jay put things into perspective in this book.
Content: The Defining Decade consists of short stories from various clients of hers, each with a persuasive, logical message backed by experience from her profession as a clinical psychologist, research and other scientific studies.
Estimated reading time needed: 3h
Key takeaways:
1) About 80% of life's most significant events take place by age 35. Although I disagree with slapping a generic timeline onto every individual, it is still pertinent for us to consider the kind of life we want to lead, and consider the time we have left.
2) "No one told me it would be this hard". Growing up is extremely tough - financially, mentally, physically, emotionally. But you're not alone on this journey.
3) We all carry certain amounts of identity capital, the currency that defines us, how we build ourselves, what we bring to the adult marketplace. How are you building your identity capital?
4) "Saying yes means you will do something new, meet someone new, and make a difference" - Eric Schmidt, Executive Chairman of Google.
5) When we make choices, we open ourselves up to hard work and failure and heartbreak, so sometimes it feels easier not to know, not to choose, and not to do. But it isn't. This reminds me of several quotes I resonate with - We must go through difficult times to become stronger people. Rainy days make for the best stories. Be intimate with fear, for it means you are growing.
6) Tyranny of the should - shoulds set up a false dichotomy between either meeting an ideal or being a failure, between perfection or settling. Let us not define ourselves by shoulds, but by goals. Be driven internally than externally.
7) You are deciding your life right now. The choices you make will likely either have a great impact or snowball into something impactful down the road.
Recommendation: As a 20s-person, this book is a godsend. The transition into an adult is perhaps the most complex period I've ever encountered, and I believe most can resonate with me. There are so many things to be wary of, focus on, making decisions, while regulating our stress levels.. the list goes on. This book perhaps summarises the bulk of the information young adults need to know in their transition into an adult. To face the 'real world'. A short book full of important messages, I highly recommend it!
